第五十六课 心理学与《圣经》（四）﹕自尊，自爱
- 我们的自我认同与别人对自己的评价﹕《圣经》的模式
Identity and What Others Think of Me – A Biblical Model
箴1﹕2-7 Proverbs 1:2-7
要使人晓得智慧和训诲。分辨通达的言语。
使人处事，领受智慧，仁义，公平，正直的训诲。
使愚人灵明，使少年人有知识和谋略。
使智能人听见，增长学问。使聪明人得着智谋。
使人明白箴言和譬喻，懂得智慧的言词和谜语。
敬畏耶和华使知识的开端。愚妄人藐视智慧和训诲。
“To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice and equity; to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth – Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understand obtain guidance, to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
申6﹕4-9 Deuteronomy 6:4-9
以色列阿，你要听。耶和华我们得上帝是独一的主。
你要尽心，尽性，尽力，爱耶和华你的上帝。
我今日所吩咐你的话，都要记在心上。
也要殷勤教训你的儿女，无论你坐在家里，行在路上，躺下，起来，都要谈论。
也要系在手上为记号，戴在额上为经文。
又要写在你房屋得门框上，并你的城门上。
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
- 我们应该留意别人对我们怎么想吗？有时候应该，可是我们不应成为惧怕别人的奴隶﹕（一）怕别人会看到真的我；（二）怕别人不接纳我，拒绝我；（三）怕别人会伤害我（感情伤害，身体伤害，性虐待等）。唯一从作惧怕的奴隶释放的方法，乃是首先敬畏上帝！
Should we pay any attention to what others think about us? Sometimes yes, but we should not be enslaved by fear of what others think of us. Many of us are enslaved by three thoughts: (a) others may see the real me; (b) others may not accept me, but reject me; (c) others may hurt me, emotionally, physically, sexually. (Cf. When People Are Big and God is Small, www.prpbooks.com, www.ccef.org.) The only way to become liberated from this three-fold fear and slavery, is to fear God first.
- 可是很多时候别人对我们的评语是有用的，是我们需要的。上帝创造世界时设立了三个制度﹕婚姻与家庭；工作与社会；安息与敬拜（创1﹕26-2﹕3）。父母亲必须教导儿女敬畏上帝，服从祂（申6﹕4-9），教师（教会）必须教导学生智能与真知识（守约顺服）；政府必须赏善罚恶（罗13章）。因此上帝所设立的权威会对人发出评判，是他们的责任！
However, what other people think of us, may be very helpful and necessary. God has established several covenant-institutions when he created the world: marriage and family; work and government; and rest and worship (Gen. 1:26-2:3). Parents are to teach their children to fear and obey God (Deut. 6:4-9); teachers are to teach students wisdom and knowledge (“covenant obedience”); the government should reward those who do good, and punish those who do evil (Rom. 13). Therefore, these authority-figures which God has ordained, will make judgments of men, women and children. This is their duty!
- 一些研究指出很多美国学生不能接受自己的成绩不合格。美国学生比日本学生对自己数学成绩自信，但日本学生数学成绩比美国学生高。这说明什么？美国社会已经被「自尊」的谎言完全渗透，以致人拒绝面对事实。社会教导我们不要顺服权威，不要接受责备。这就是为什么美国在道德和信仰上是破产的，她仅剩下军事，经济和科技的能力罢了！「愚妄人藐视智慧和教教诲。」上帝啊，怜悯！上帝必审判。Studies show that American students cannot tolerate being told that they have failed a course; U.S. students have better self-confidence about their math and science ability than Japanese students (when actually, Japanese students perform better than U.S. students). This shows that American society is so infiltrated with the lie of self-esteem, that we refuse to accept the truth. Society teaches us not to obey authority, and accept rebuke. This is why American society is bankrupt in morality and religion. (She is only strong in finance, military might and technology.) “Fools refuse wisdom and instruction.” God have mercy! God will judge.
- 范泰尔称上帝所设立的关系为「代表原则」。人生最基本的原则就是﹕我们的生活，完全在上帝面前（诗篇1391篇）。我们所想、所说、所作的，都在祂面光之中。上帝与全人类立约，作我们的创造主。上帝与信徒们立「恩典之约」，作我们的救赎主，生命的主宰。我们因为属于上帝，我们也彼此归属为肢体，彼此「代表」。我们与上帝立约，我们也彼此立约，成立家庭，学校，教会，小区，国家。Cornelius Van Til calls these relationships in life “the representational principle,” which is another name for “covenant.” The most fundamental fact in life is: We live our lives in the face of God (Psalm 139). All that we think, say and do, we do in God’s presence. God has made a covenant with all of us – he is our Creator and Lord. God has made a special covenant with believers (the covenant of grace) – he is our Redeemer and Lord (Gen. 17:7). Because we belong to God, we belong to each other as fellow believers. We “represent” one another. We covenant with God, and form the church. We covenant with each other, and form families, schools, churches, communities, and nations.
- 上帝透过立约告诉我们，我们是谁﹕我们真正的身份（认同）来自上帝（罗8章，弗2-3章）。我们真正的身份（认同）来自如何了解死亡，我们死后到哪里去（林后4-5章）。当我们永恒的去处问题安定了，我们就懂得如何生活，我们就有自己真正的身份，我们有「自信」。我们充满着喜乐，感谢的信，因为「这世界非我家」（来11﹕11-16）。我们的自我认识来自上帝的恩典，为此我们感恩﹕我们一切所有的，我们今天成何等的人，都因为主耶稣基督。
Within the covenant, God tells us who we are – our true identity comes from God (Romans chapter 8, Ephesians chapters 2-3). Our true identity comes from our understanding of death, and where we go after death (I Cor. Chapters 4-5). When the issue of our eternal destiny is settled, then we have our true identity – we have a “strong self-esteem.” We are joyful, we are thankful, because “this world is not my home” (Heb. 11:11-16). Our self-understanding is based on gratitude to God’s grace – all that we have, we owe to Christ.
- 换言之﹕我们必须舍己，背起十字架，跟随住。这是我们真正的身份。
Another way of putting this is: We are to “deny ourselves, take up the cross, and follow Christ.” This is our true identity.
- 罪与救恩﹕究竟福音是什么？
Sin and Salvation – What is the Gospel?
罗8﹕29 Romans 8:29
因为他预先所知道的人，就预先定下效法祂儿子的模样，是祂儿子在许多弟兄中作长子。
“For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”
- 一位南加州Biola大学的教授说﹕「罪」就是我们的需要没有满足，或我们没有实现我们的潜能。Biola大学设有Rosemead 心理学院，与福乐神学院的心理学院一样，是相信「融合」心理学与基督教信仰的学府。
A professor at Biola University (La Mirada, California) is quoted as saying that: sin is when our needs are not fulfilled, and when we do not realize our potential. Biola is home to the Rosemead School of Psychology. Like Fuller Theological Seminary’s School of Psychology, Rosemead believes in the so-called “integration” of psychology with the Christian faith.
- 可是，世俗的心理理论，真的能够与《圣经》的教义「融合」吗？这位教授说的，刚好与《圣经》对罪的定义完全相反！罪是什么？罪是对上帝的反叛！罪是干犯上帝的诫命，或不遵守上帝的吩咐。上帝所禁止的，我们去作；上帝所吩咐的，我们不去作﹕这叫罪！
But can secular theories of psychology become truly “integrated” with the Bible’s teaching? This professor’s words have totally twisted what the Bible teaches about sin. Sin is rebellion against God. Sin is the lack of conformity to, and transgression of, God’s law (Westminster Shorter Catechism). In other words: What God forbids us to do, we do; what God commands us to do, we fail to do. This is sin!
- 我们往往把「需要」和「欲望」混为一谈。餐厅的侍应若问我﹕「你需要在你的冰淇淋上面再加奶油吗？」我要不要奶油，和我的「需要」完全没有关系！我不需要奶油加在冰淇淋上面，也可以活下去！我们要学习分辨「欲望」和真正的「需要」。
We often confuse our “needs” with “wants.” For example, when a waitress asks me in a restaurant, “Do you need whipped cream on top of your ice cream?” The whipped cream has nothing to do with what I need to exist, to live, to be healthy. It is purely “desire!” We must distinguish between needs and wants.
- 至于「实现我们的潜能」，我们必须以基督作我们的标准﹕我们的目标是效法基督（罗8﹕29）。
As for “realizing our potential,” we must measure it against Christ (Rom. 8:29). Our “potential” or “goal” in life, is to be like Christ.
- 救恩是什么？肯定不是「自尊」！救恩乃是罪得赦免，得称为义，作上帝的儿女，承受永生的产业，顺服宇宙的主，在祂国度里（祂国度已临，却未临）。
What is salvation? Not self-esteem! But forgiveness of sins, justification through faith, being adopted as God’s child, being an heir of an eternal inheritance, and submitting under the rule of the King, whose Kingdom has come, and will come in fullness.
- 我们怎样走下去？
How Should We Then Live/Counsel?
- 我们必须审核自己的价值观，自己的信念。要诚实回答﹕你如何回答这三个问题？（一）人是什么？（动物？人是上帝？一堆欲望？一对经历？）（二）人的问题从哪里来？（三）解决人问题的方法（答案）从哪里找？
Examine your own values and beliefs. How do you answer these three questions? (a) What is man? (Is he an animal? Is he God? Is he a bunch of desires? Is he a bunch of experiences?) (b) Where do man’s problems come from? (c) Where do solutions to man’s problem come from?
- 接受纯正的《圣经》教义装备。辅导员需要好的神学！需要以《圣经》为基础的教义根基。
Equip yourself with sound, Bible-based doctrine (theology). Counselors need theology! Counselors need a firm foundation in a system of Bible-based doctrine.
- 先接受《圣经》教义的装备，然后才学习世俗心理学与辅导学的理论。
Equip yourself with Bible doctrine before you attempt to understand and learn secular theories of psychology and counseling.
- 参加《圣经》辅导运动的行列！成为一位真正能从上帝的话劝戒人的工人！请参考下列查询数据。
Join the Biblical counseling movement! Become truly competent to teach God’s Word, and to counsel from Scripture.
For further information: Westminster theological Seminary www.wts.edu, Master’s College MA program www.masters.edu, Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation www.ccef.org, National Association of Nouthetic Counselors www.nanc.org, Dr. Jay Adams’ publishing house www.timelesstexts.org, Chinese-language resources www.chinesebiblicalcounseling.net, www.chinesechristiandiscernment.net.
林慈信牧师，中华展望www.chinahorizon.org
www.ccnci.org 直播网络电视﹕神学教学
张逸萍博士www.chinesechristiandiscernment.net
www.chinesebiblicalcounseling.net （可听林慈信牧师的圣经辅导课程录音）
阅读﹕
056A。亚当斯，「如何从忧郁沮丧中走出来？」。
056B。亚当斯，「「如何戒瘾？」。
网络圣约ccnci.org