认识华裔青少年_02c
主讲：林慈信牧师_校对：刘加立、陈弟兄&聂姐妹_中文：汪瑞弟兄
Linda Yi姐妹：对不起，我不说国语，but I think it’s probably important for me to share a little bit about my background。I come from a Teochew-speaking family，so for me，China means Teochew city，just within that，and that or Chinatown。I grew up in Boston，Boston Chinatown，always within walking distance，so every time my parents say China to us，a worldview is really just with a village or the town where they grew up in，that was China，or else Chinatown，okay。So，that’s sort of how I grew up。
Also，my parents were married through an arranged marriage，oh，they did not know each other。So，it wasn’t until after World War II，and my dad was in the army，and then during that time，the U.S. government gave extra grace to the men who were already in America. My dad was already here，and so they all went out，so there was a wave of men after the war who went back to China. And so，to relatives，my dad met my mother and married without really knowing each other. So，that’s sort of the background. I don’t think that for any of you folks that happened that way，so I was pretty fortunate. I think，comparing my family to some of my friends’ families，I realized that my mom and dad really loved each other very much，so I think that was very unusual.
In terms of things I appreciate，my father worked in a Chinese restaurant when he first came to the States. He worked in a laundry business because one of my relatives had a laundry. And then，when he married my mother，because my mother didn’t know English，she worked in the garment factory. So，this is very typical in terms of the Chinese families in Boston，and also being in the city，I think it’s very different. I think coming to this family camp taught me to appreciate suburban Chinese，because all my experience has always been in the urban areas.
Most of the ABCs in my generation—I’m in my mid-30s now—we’re all first-generation born here. We are pretty bilingual，in the sense of knowing both English and Chinese，and I think that was more of a necessity because one out of the two parents did not speak English. So，for me，the first time I met a Chinese person over 40 speaking perfect English，I was totally in culture shock，because to me，that was just totally impossible. Because every time when I go home，you know，the automatic minute you cross the front door，speak Chinese，speak Chinese.
So，with that in mind，I wrote down several characteristics，and this is by no means any blueprint of what an ABC，just because I tell you these things. So，if you see these traits，you can say that’s an ABC，because what will happen is that you’re not going to see all of these traits in any one ABC. Also，some of these traits will probably display in varying degrees，like some—like he talked about—some ABCs are more traditional，more Chinese-y，and others are a little less so. There will be varying degrees，okay? So，there’s really no blueprint.
And even when Dr. Lincoln asked me a couple of days ago to do this，I started talking to a couple of the youth workers here，and I found that none of them came up with the same list，or，you know，they had different experiences. So，that made it a little difficult for me to try to provide any standards or norms.
Recently，I just finished a book called Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan. Are you familiar with that? When I first picked it up，I read it，it just seemed so real. And then a friend of mine says，no，it’s fiction. I said，no! And so，when I read through that，I really felt that it was very descriptive of my family and my background. It takes a story about，I think it was about four families，pretty much the mothers and the daughters，the four ABC daughters. And there was always the tension between the old and new，and I think Dr. Link talked about that. And within the ABC mind，things that are old are considered，we don’t want that，we only want the new things，we want change，and it has to come fast.
And the other thing，in the beginning of the book，it talks about，they’re in this—I don’t know whether it was a mahjong club—but they called the Joy Luck Club. And so，the daughter is there，the mother has died，and all the other people，the other families got together and will send her back to China to meet the two long-lost daughters of her mother before the mother came to faith. And so，they kept telling her，oh，when you go back，just tell them what your mother was like，and just saying all these things. And so，the daughter said，I don’t know my mother. And those mothers said，oh yes，you do，you know her，just tell those daughters what she’s like. And as I read those lines，I really felt very similar，because with the choice to be parents，they’re very distant. They will always be parents，they show their love for us by，you know，feeding us，clothing us，you know，making sure that we’re safe，but as far as really knowing the inside person，I can honestly say，I really don’t know my mom and dad in terms of some of their inner feelings and inner thoughts on different issues.
This really was brought home when someone had asked me to think about what my dad’s thoughts were on different issues and emotions. And so，my dad died ten years ago，and so I really had a hard time thinking of certain answers to those questions. And someone brought this book，Always Daddy’s Girl，it’s written by Norman Wright. And so，the beginning of the book had the same kind of thing，it had a little survey on what are your dad’s thoughts on work，on leisure，on women，on this and that. And I was greatly saddened that I really could not answer any of those questions. And then I realized，I said，gee，I really do not know，you know，my parents，even though I lived with them for so many years.
So，I think that this is very typical，and there’s a term called “phantom father，” and it’s a father who’s physically present but emotionally unavailable. And so，I think in the Chinese families，this is very，very typical，because our dad worked very strange hours，like from three o’clock till，you know，three o’clock in the afternoon，and then he wouldn’t come home till two o’clock in the morning. And as school kids，we get off at school about two-thirty or three，and by then he’s，you know，going down to Trenton，down to work. And so，by the time he gets home，we’re already in bed. And so，this is sort of what really happens in the Chinatown family.
And then I started thinking about，what do I know in terms of my parents as far as feelings? And I noticed that feelings of the word “hurt” and “fear” were not in my vocabulary. I probably felt those things，but I think on the conscious level，those two words were not within my vocabulary to share with other people. And I think it’s because my parents，I really never saw them share or feel hurt. They may have felt those things，but at least outwardly，they never shared it and never showed it in their facial expression or through their lives.
But the feelings that were pretty prominent that I knew very sure were shame and guilt. It’s sort of like，you know，especially being in Chinatown，oh，don’t do that，or you know，so-and-so，all of Chinatown，you’re gonna shame the Yi name，kind of thing. So，we were always cautious about our behaviors as a result，because of the shame and guilt that it may bring to us or to our family or to the Yi clan，you know，kind of a thing.
And another thing that I also realized too is that my parents also did not ever show that much physical affection or demonstrate approval. Like，if we，if I brought home my report card，they won’t see the A，they would say，hey，how come you got a B here? So，we grew up always feeling that we have to try to win our parents’ approval，and yet I don’t even know when I would even get there，you know，at what point will I win my parents’ approval. Because they never really share that，it’s only，and it’s very strange that，if—and this I didn’t discover until I started living with Caucasian roommates—and one roommate I had was very verbal and needed a lot of affection and verbal approval and those things. And I discovered that I treated her the same way my parents treated me，that only when she did something wrong，then I said something. So，when this disapproval is verbalized，but when she did something right，I never affirmed her for it，do you see what I mean? So，I think those are sort of the products of being ABC.
And then，some other things I also saw as I grew up as well，is I also went through an identity crisis，continuing asking myself，who am I? In 1986，I went to Shantou in China，and it’s obvious that，you know，ABCs walk different，dress differently，you know. So，even though I was riding a bicycle in China，I think people，it’s obvious that they can tell I’m not a local person，you know. So，when I was in China，people asked me who I was，you know，I just automatically said，oh no，I’m a foreigner，you know. And then，but when I come to the States，and I travel to like Maine or Alabama or someplace，I said，no，I’m Chinese. So，there’s always that searching of asking，really，who am I? And part of that could be because of sort of a fragmented history. I think that’s when he talks about roots，and how my picture of China or the history of my parents is very incomplete. What little I know is basically shared over the dinner table，and that wasn’t until I was in my mid，you know，mid-late 20s or 30s，and my mother started sharing more stories about her life back. But I think，overall，I don’t really have a complete history of what my roots are，so it’s very difficult，you know，just having a very fragmented path.
And as I look at the church，I also saw something as well. Because one of the examples I also chose was，in Boston，we have two congregations，English-speaking worship and then also Chinese. But for many years，we had just one service with translation. And it was exactly true in terms of what he described，that we have been clamoring for a separate service，and our method was，here，we worked out all those details and went to the deacons，and tried to propose something，then somehow it got shot down，and people were very angry at the way we were doing things. And so，it was like over 10 years of kept talking about these things，and people kept saying，you ABC，you’re not ready，irresponsible，and all those kinds of things. And so，it wasn’t until 1983 that that finally materialized，and the minute it happened，you know，I think that we were able to demonstrate that we were responsible and were able to provide the leadership and whatever.
But again，I wonder if that time period，it was sort of the same thing，trying to prove ourselves all the time. That’s sort of a struggle，that no matter what we do，we feel that we always have to prove ourselves. And as I also look at the church in Boston，as we were talking about the colorblindness，how that affects the local church is that，in being Chinese，raised in the urban area，I think there’s a greater social consciousness of different issues happening in the Chinatown community，and also more concern for issues of discrimination and injustices.
It was interesting that，in my church in Boston，it was the Chinese congregation that had people working for Chinatown services，like social workers or school principals and things like that. And，you know，starting several years ago，they were trying to get together some kind of ESL program or whatever，and it just somehow never got off the ground. And then，this past year，one of the ABCs in our congregation finally said，hey，I’m tired of waiting for this，so he just took the leadership，and he just started it，and now we have a very flourishing ESL program. And so，I don’t know how much of it is that ABC is just impatient for change，or，you know，that we’re just very action-oriented，we just want to get things done，you know，we’re tired of waiting.
And so，we had the ESL program，and then we also started the kids’ club，which is like a summer outreach for neighborhood kids. And so，and then also，as I looked at the missions programs that we have，we also send people to like Jamaica and Haiti. And I think how the colorblindness helps ABC is that，it’s easy for us to do that kind of cross-culture，in terms of going to Black areas，Black people. And we noticed that it was really difficult to get anyone from the Chinese congregation who wanted to do that，because they felt—I don’t know what the reasons were. And so，as a result，you know，the church started a program to go into Central America，to Chinese，continuing speaking Chinese. So，I think this is just sort of a taste in terms of how，you know，being ABC，and some of the cultural things that kind of affect，and it’s brought into the local church setting. That’s all the time I have.
Question: What are the things that you wish most your parents would have done for you or helped you with?
Probably just providing a little more guidance in terms of decision-making，because my dad was working in the restaurant，he wasn’t really in touch with，oh，I guess this is really depicted in trying to choose a college，okay. And we had to take SATs and all those kinds of things，and this is probably where most ABCs are sort of self-taught，because we have to find our own resources，because my dad didn’t know anything about colleges or the area，my mother didn’t really speak English，she really，I mean，none of them could provide us any assistance in terms of financial assistance either. And in terms of vocational guidance，I don’t ever remember ever going to my parents and asking them those kinds of things，and they never said anything to us either. It was more that，as we were growing up，it’s sort of，when you go to college，study hard，and that’s about it. But they never pushed any particular location，and I think it’s because their worldview was very limited，and they weren’t that aware in terms of white society，what are all the options. So，as a result，I had to find my own resources in terms of financial aid，look up my own colleges and professions，and whatever. I think that’s something that I wish I had in terms of how to make decisions，vocational choice.
Question: As an ABC，do you feel inferior and second-class citizens in this country? Do you have an inferiority complex?
I never felt inferior，yeah，I never felt I was inferior because I was Chinese，because at least my parents taught us that it’s good to be Chinese，okay. And I think it helped being Chinese in my particular workplace，because I was in the health field，I used to be an occupational therapist，and so I think for certain types of jobs，they view Chinese as sort of a model minority，oh yes，Chinese work hard，and you’re honest，and you’re bright，you know. So，probably，if I was interviewed or another Hispanic or Black person，it might be marginal，maybe I might get，I don’t really know. But I never felt that in terms of location.
However，I did feel it in the Chinese church，because it took us so many years to try to get a separate service for ourselves. And once we had the second service，we had to go through all the changes，for example，our main service was always at 11 o’clock，okay. So，the decision has to be，who’s going to get up earlier，because we only have one sanctuary，you know. And so，he says，well，of course，well，you guys want your service，you know，so our service is at nine o’clock，you know. And also，in terms of selection of deacons and those kinds of things，the meetings were very much，you know，held in Chinese for many years，and it wasn’t until the first ABC，and I was sort of like the second ABC，it was really a struggle，it was a big struggle，board. I’m not quite the first ABC staff，but so，it was really a struggle，because，you know，the meetings would kind of alternate between English and Chinese，and a lot of times，mostly Chinese，and then you kind of sit there，kind of wondering what’s really happening.
But I think，by far，as you look in terms of a lot of different things，I think ABCs are still considered secondary. And probably one thing to consider too is that，at the time when I left，I left Boston ‘89，there was an increasing frustration with the Chinese parents，because the Chinese congregation will always go faster than ABCs，because you have all these immigrants or whatever. And，but the ABCs have to take care of the children for Sunday school，and so your children are left in the hands of us，you know，young ABCs，who really do not have that much，you know，role models or leadership training or，you know，spiritual maturity，you know，in that sense. We just don’t have a long enough lifespan in terms of ABC Christians，and it was，and so，it’s very frustrating to always try to take care of your children. So，that’s something to consider in terms of parental involvement in Sunday school. So，I think because of that，we always feel like we’re always babysitting for the Chinese.
Question: Very quick question for the last one，how did you feel about preparing for this thing?
Oh，you have to remind me，oh，these parents don’t bite. I felt very insecure，because I’ve never had to face Mandarin-speaking parents，actually，I’ve never had to speak in front of any parents. So，I really wasn’t quite sure，you know，whether my upbringing，being from the urban area，from a blue-collar family in Chinatown，and being Teochew，nice from old country，like the Joy Luck Club kind of stories，would be relevant for you or not. Because this is the first time I’ve come to a camp，and being with the teens’ program here，and these teens are very different，and I think，in many ways，I’m，you know，encountering what you call cultural dissonance，you know，that it was just culture shock for me to be in a room full of teenagers in the suburbs，and also Mandarin-speaking，because it’s more upper-middle-class kids.
Oh，I would be，they’re more Americanized，because of the haircuts and the clothes，you know，the earrings，you know，the guys with the earrings and stuff，you know. But you gotta imagine，you know，I’m only 36 years old，so，you know，my generation was still a lot more conservative in those days. See，the type of activities，you know，playing three instruments，you know，piano，I think，my goodness，every single child plays piano. And it was very unusual，I was the only person in my grammar school and high school who was Chinese who played piano，and my mother was totally frustrated，I hated to practice，because，you know，none of my friends played pianos，I said，what’s the point?
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So，it’s just very different，and，you know，and I was saying to someone，I said，well，these kids are a lot more privileged，you know，when I was growing up，you know，I had one pair，didn’t have any pair，jeans and a sweatshirt when I went to college. And then，this person said，oh yeah，these kids have four sweatshirts，you know. So，and those kinds of things，so，and then，being，you know，more of a Mandarin-speaking background，it’s a good culture experience to me.
翻译为中文参考
但我想，分享一点我的背景可能是很重要的。我来自一个讲潮州话的家庭，所以对我来说，中国就等于潮州城，就在那个范围里面，要不然就是唐人街。我在波士顿长大，波士顿唐人街，总是在走路可到的距离内。所以，每一次我父母对我们说“中国”，那个世界观其实只是他们成长的那个村子或小镇，那就是“中国”，要不然就是唐人街），所以，这就是我成长的方式。
另外，我的父母是通过包办婚姻结婚的，哦，他们彼此不认识。所以，直到二战后，我父亲在军队服役，当时美国政府对已经在美国的男性给予了额外的宽限。我父亲已经在这里，所以战后有一波男性回到中国。去见亲戚时，我父亲遇到了我母亲，并在几乎不了解对方的情况下结婚了。这就是背景。我觉得你们这些人可能没有这样的经历，所以我很幸运。比起我一些朋友的家庭，我意识到我的父母非常相爱，这很特别。
我很感激的是，我父亲刚来美国时在一家中餐馆工作。因为我一个亲戚开洗衣店，他也在洗衣店工作过。然后，他和我母亲结婚后，因为我母亲不会英语，她在服装厂工作。这是波士顿华人家庭很典型的情况，而且住在城市里，我觉得很不一样。来这个家庭营会让我学会欣赏郊区的华人，因为我的经历都在城市地区。
我们这一代的ABC——我现在三十多岁——大都是第一代在这里出生的。我们相当双语，懂英语和中文，我觉得这是必需的，因为父母中有一个不会说英语。对我来说，第一次遇到一个40岁以上说一口流利英语的华人，我完全震惊，因为对我来说那完全不可能。因为每次回家，一进门，就得说中文，说中文。
所以，考虑到这些，我写下了几个特点，但这绝不是ABC的蓝图，仅仅因为我说了这些。如果你看到这些特点，就说这是ABC，那不行，因为你不会在一个ABC身上看到所有这些特点。有些特点可能会以不同程度表现出来，就像他说的，有些ABC更传统、更“中国化”，有些则不那么明显，会有不同程度，好吗？所以，没有真正的蓝图。
甚至在几天前Dr. Lincoln让我做这个分享时，我和这里的几个青年工作者聊了聊，发现他们没有一个列出相同的清单，或者他们的经历不同。这让我很难提供任何标准或规范。
最近，我刚读完一本叫《喜福会》的书，作者是谭恩美。你熟悉吗？我第一次拿起来读，感觉太真实了。然后一个朋友说，不，这是小说。我说，不！读完后，我觉得它非常描述了我的家庭和背景。故事大概是关于四个家庭，主要是母亲和女儿，四个ABC女儿。总是有新旧之间的紧张关系，我想Dr. Lincoln提到过。在ABC的思维中，旧的东西我们不要，我们只想要新的东西，我们想要改变，而且要快。
书的开头谈到，他们在一个——我不知道是不是麻将俱乐部——但他们叫喜福会。女儿在那里，她的母亲去世了，其他家庭的人聚在一起，要送她回中国，去见她母亲在信主前失散的两个女儿。他们一直对她说，回去后，告诉她们你母亲是什么样的人，说这些话。女儿说，我不了解我母亲。那些母亲说，哦，你了解，你知道她，告诉那些女儿她是什么样的人。读到这些时，我感觉很相似，因为选择做父母，他们很疏远。他们永远是父母，他们通过给我们吃的、穿的、确保我们安全来表达爱，但至于真正了解内心，我可以诚实地说，我真的不了解我父母的内心感受和想法。
这点在有人让我思考我父亲对不同问题和情感的想法时特别明显。我父亲十年前去世了，我很难回答那些问题。有人给了我一本叫《永远是爸爸的女孩》的书，作者是Norman Wright。书的开头有类似的内容，有一个关于你父亲对工作、休闲、女性等想法的小调查。我很伤心，因为我一个问题都答不上来。然后我意识到，天哪，我真的不了解我父母，尽管我和他们一起生活了那么多年。
我觉得这很典型，有个术语叫“幽灵父亲”，指的是父亲在身体上在场，但在情感上缺席。我觉得在华人家庭中，这非常非常典型，因为我父亲的工作时间很奇怪，比方说从下午三点到凌晨两点。我们放学回家大概是两点半或三点，那时他已经去Trenton工作了。他回家时，我们已经睡了。这就是唐人街家庭的真实情况。
然后我开始思考，我对父母的感受了解多少？我注意到“伤害”和“恐惧”这两个词不在我的词汇表里。我可能有这些感受，但 consciously，这两个词我不会和别人分享。我觉得是因为我父母，我从没见他们分享或表现出伤害。他们可能有这些感受，但至少表面上，他们从没表达过，也没通过面部表情或生活表现出来。
但我很清楚的突出感受是羞耻和内疚。就像在唐人街，哦，别那样做，或者某某某，整个唐人街，你会让“易”姓蒙羞，诸如此类。所以，我们总是小心自己的行为，因为这可能会给我们、家庭或易氏家族带来羞耻和内疚。
还有一件事我意识到，父母从不表现出太多的身体亲密或给予认可。比方说，我拿回成绩单，他们不会看到A，他们会说，嘿，怎么有个B？我们长大后总觉得要努力赢得父母的认可，但我不知道什么时候能做到，因为他们从不分享这些。很奇怪，直到我和白人室友一起生活，我才发现。一个室友很爱表达，需要很多亲密和口头认可。我发现我对待她就像我父母对待我一样，只有她做错事我才会说。她做对了我从不肯定，你明白我的意思吗？所以，我觉得这些是做ABC的结果。
还有一些我成长中看到的事情，我经历了身份危机，一直问自己，我是谁？1986年，我去了中国汕头，明显ABC走路、穿着不同。即使我在中国骑自行车，人们也能看出我不是本地人。在中国，有人问我是谁，我自动说，哦，不，我是外国人。但回到美国，去缅因州或阿拉巴马，我说，不，我是中国人。所以，总是在寻找，真的，我是谁？部分原因是历史碎片化，就像他说的根，我的对中国的画面或父母的历史很不完整。我知道的很少，大多是饭桌上分享的，直到我二十多岁或三十多岁，我母亲才开始分享她过去的故事。但总体上，我没有完整的根的历史，很难，只有一个碎片化的过去。
至于教会，我也看到了一些。因为我选择的一个例子是，在波士顿，我们有两个会众，英语崇拜和中文崇拜。但多年来，我们只有一个带翻译的崇拜。就像他描述的，我们一直吵着要单独的崇拜，我们的方法是，整理好所有细节，提交给执事会，提出建议，然后不知怎么被否决了，人们对我们的做事方式很生气。谈了十多年，人们一直说，你们ABC，没准备好，不负责任，诸如此类。直到1983年才实现，一实现，我们就证明了我们是负责任的，能提供领导力。
但我怀疑，那个时期，是不是一直在证明自己？无论我们做什么，总觉得要证明自己。谈到波士顿的教会，谈到colorblindness如何影响当地教会，作为在城市长大的华人，我觉得对唐人街社区的问题有更大的社会意识，也更关心歧视和不公问题。
有趣的是，在我们波士顿的教会，是中文会众有人为唐人街服务，比方说社工或学校校长。几年前，他们尝试搞ESL项目，但一直没启动。去年，我们会众的一个ABC终于说，嘿，我等够了，他接手领导，启动了，现在我们有一个很蓬勃的ESL项目。我不知道这是ABC急于改变，还是我们很行动导向，我们只想把事情做好，等不及了。
我们有了ESL项目，还启动了儿童俱乐部，像暑期社区外展。看看我们的宣教项目，我们派人去牙买加和海地。我觉得colorblindness帮助ABC，我们很容易做跨文化的事，比方说去黑人地区、黑人群体。我们注意到，中文会众很难有人想做这些，不知道原因是什么。因此，教会启动了一个去中美洲的项目，给说中文的华人。所以，我觉得这只是一个尝试，关于做ABC，以及一些文化因素如何影响并带入当地教会环境。这就是我所有的时间。
提问：你最希望父母为你做什么或帮助你什么？
大概是提供更多决策指导，因为我父亲在餐馆工作，他不太了解，比方说选择大学。我们得考SAT之类的东西，大多数ABC是自学的，因为我们得自己找资源。我父亲对大学或地区一无所知，我母亲不会英语，他们无法提供任何经济帮助。职业指导，我从不记得问过父母这些，他们也没对我们说过什么。更多的是，我们长大时，进大学，努力学习，仅此而已。他们从不推特定地点，我觉得是因为他们的世界观很有限，不太了解白人社会的所有选项。所以，我得自己找资源，比方说助学金，自己查大学和职业。这是我希望有的，关于如何做决定、职业选择。
提问：作为ABC，你觉得自己在这个国家是二等公民吗？你有自卑感吗？
我从没觉得自卑，没觉得因为是中国人就低人一等，因为父母至少教我们做中国人很好。我觉得在我的工作场所做中国人有帮助，我在健康领域，过去是职业治疗师，某些工作他们视中国人为模范少数族裔，哦，中国人工作努力，诚实，聪明。如果我和一个西裔或黑人面试，可能有微妙差别，也许我会得到，我不知道。但我在地点上从没感觉自卑。
但在华人教会，我确实感觉到了，因为我们花了很多年才争取到自己的崇拜。有了第二个崇拜后，我们得经历所有变化，比方说，主崇拜总是在11点。所以，得决定谁早起，因为只有一个圣堂。他说，你们想要自己的崇拜，所以我们的是9点。还有选执事之类的事，会议多年来大多用中文，直到第一个ABC，我算是第二个ABC，真是挣扎，执事会很艰难。我不是第一个ABC员工，但真是挣扎，因为会议在英语和中文之间切换，很多时候主要是中文，你就坐在那，想知道到底发生了什么。
我觉得，总体看，很多方面，ABC仍被视为次要。还要考虑的是，我1989年离开波士顿时，华人家长的挫折感增加，因为中文会众总是比ABC快，因为有这些移民什么的。但ABC得照顾主日学的小孩，你们的孩子交给我们这些年轻的ABC，我们没有多少榜样、领导训练或属灵成熟。我们做ABC基督徒的寿命不够长，总是照顾你们的孩子很挫败。这是家长参与主日学要考虑的。所以，我们总觉得我们在为华人看孩子。
提问：最后一个快速问题，准备这个分享感觉如何？
哦，你得提醒我，哦，这些家长不咬人。我很没安全感，因为我从没面对过说普通话的家长，其实我从没在家长面前演讲。所以，我真的不确定，我的成长经历，来自城市、唐人街的蓝领家庭，潮州人，乡下出身，像《喜福会》那样的故事，对你们是否相关。因为这是我第一次来营会，参与青少年项目，这里的青少年很不同，我觉得，很多方面，我遇到了文化失调，文化冲击，在一个满是郊区青少年的房间，还有说普通话的，因为他们是中上阶层的孩子。
哦，我觉得他们更美国化，因为发型、衣服、耳环，男生的耳环之类。但你得想象，我才36岁，我们那一代还是保守得多。看看这些活动，弹三种乐器，钢琴，天哪，每个孩子都弹钢琴。很不寻常，我是小学和高中唯一弹钢琴的华人，我母亲很沮丧，我讨厌练习，因为我的朋友都不弹钢琴，我说有什么意义？所以，很不同。我对人说，这些孩子更优越，我小时候只有一条牛仔裤、一件运动衫上大学。有人说，哦，这些孩子有四件运动衫。所以，这些事，还有普通话背景，对我是个很好的文化体验。
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